What is Influence?
We all influence on a daily basis, be it at home or at work. Whenever you have individual objectives to
meet, you have opportunities to influence those around you. It can be said that any communication that has
an intended outcome can be considered an attempt to influence. In business especially, task focus and the
achievement of objectives with and through others are continuous activities. As such, influence is pervasive,
whether we are conscious of it or not, in both our personal and professional lives.
Effective influence results in the mutual agreement emerging from the interaction between two or more
people. Influence occupies the space between people and any one person has the ability to shift the
dynamics in the room. Therefore, excellent influencers are keenly aware of the need to build trust, establish
connections, be authentic and emotionally intelligent, and above all, be present. This is how they fulfill their
individual objectives while maintaining and strengthening important relationships. They realize that getting
things done with and through others includes meeting the needs of all parties involved, while simultaneously
satisfying multiple agendas.
Many people achieve their influence objectives only at the expense of important relationships by forcing
their own agenda. Others habitually avoid challenging influence situations, at the expense of fulfilling their
goals, by evading conflict. We have all worked with people who are difficult, and we know the negative impact
they can have on our productivity and our ability to stay emotionally intelligent. Imagine what could be
accomplished together if these relationship barriers did not exist! Given that, different individuals represent
different influence situations. This is also true for the same individual at different times depending on the
content and context of the situation. As we move from one work or personal situation to another, our influence
objectives change, and the way we influence others to reach those objectives must change as well.
Influence is a focused application of a combination of skills that we employ in order to change the way things
are. These behavioral skills are within our control; we are capable of making strategic decisions about how we
wish to behave, and we are capable of altering our behavior through our own choices, if we have adequate
alternatives – an influence “tool kit”.
In conclusion, the Positive Power and Influence® Program helps people build flexibility in using different
Influence Styles, develop emotional intelligence to stand strong in any situation, and work with others to
construct and achieve positive outcomes.
To find out more about how you can increase your Positive Power and Influence skills read about the
Positive Power and Influence® Program.
Emotional Intelligence and The Positive Power and Influence® Program
Situation Management Systems, Inc. (SMS)
has been on the forefront of Influence training
for over forty years. It’s time that we claim
our place in the emotional intelligence field
and explain how the Positive Power and
Influence® Program teaches participants to
be more emotionally intelligent in everyday
and challenging influence situations.
Wayne Payne first coined “Emotional
Intelligence (EI)” in 1986 in his doctoral
dissertation. Mayer and Salovey published
an article in 1990 that also defined the term.
The definition they proffered was: EI is the
ability to perceive emotion in self and others,
to be able to understand these emotions, and
then be able to manage emotions in self and
others. What really brought the term into
the public eye was Daniel Goleman’s 1995
book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can
Matter More Than IQ. He had read Mayer
and Salovey’s article while doing research for
his book and ended up focusing his work
even more on EI.
There are several tools available today that
can be used to measure and assess your level
of emotional intelligence. The purpose of this
article is to examine how the Positive Power
and Influence® Program (PPI) develops the
emotional intelligence of participants.
WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO ATTEND PPI?
Answering this question will assist in
understanding the value of PPI and its
contribution to the development of EI. The
reason some people attend the program is
because HR or Talent Development has
determined that the ability to influence is
a desirable competency, and is offering the
course for developmental purposes. Others
attend because they received feedback that
if they want to progress in their career, then
they need to do a better job of influencing.
Still other individuals seek it out because they
are frustrated with their inability to influence
others in their organizations. Frequently,
technical people want to attend because they
prefer working alone to dealing with people,
but have been told they need to learn how to
work more effectively with others.
What many of these people have in common
is a feeling of being stuck, a feeling of having
tried many different ways to solve a problem
or convince someone to do something, and
no matter what they tried, they failed. Many people are frustrated and feel like giving up on
the problem, person, or situation because they
think that they have a very low probability
After attending PPI, 75% of participants have
had success with their challenging situation
and many say that the program changed
their lives. How can such a dramatic shift
be explained? What could possibly happen
in this program that has such a tremendous
impact? The simple answer is that the design
of the program teaches participants how
to prepare for and manage themselves and
others in challenging situations, one of the
attributes of EI. It raises their self-awareness
and the awareness of their impact on others
(another EI attribute) through many rounds
of feedback from both the facilitator and
peers. It demonstrates that they indeed have
a choice when they felt, prior to the program,
that they had no choice. This self-awareness,
preparation, and ability to choose, enables
them to be emotionally intelligent in everyday
and challenging situations.
THE PPI DESIGN
We have already established that the reason
many people attend the program is due to
frustration and inability to influence certain
individuals or in particular situations. Now,
let’s take a deeper look into the PPIP design
to reveal its impact on EI.
The development begins prior to the program
by asking participants to complete the 360
Influence Style Questionnaire (ISQ). The
questionnaire instructs them to identify a
productive and a less productive relationship,
and to fill out two questionnaires with these
two people in mind. Participants are also
instructed to request feedback from their
productive and less productive relationships by inviting them to fill out a questionnaire. So
before the program starts, people experience
varying levels of vulnerability as they are
being evaluated. This heightens people’s
self-awareness before they even attend the
During the program itself, participants go
through a recorded exercise. Some experience
strong emotions here, others do not, but all,
in varying degrees, feel the discomfort of
being recorded. After the exercise, they are
given instructions and practice Giving and
Receiving Feedback, which is the foundation
of the program. This guides them on how
to do this activity effectively, and they will
repeat it multiple times during the program.
Many are having their first experience of
understanding the impact they have on
The program then presents the Situational
Influence Model (SIM) as a tool for
understanding not only their own behavior,
but also the behavior of others. Participants
learn that influence is about impact, no matter
what their intent.
For example, a senior manager who is not a
morning person walks into his office without
saying good morning. His intent is not to be
rude, but many of the people who work for
him feel that his impact is negative. From
the very start, the program informs and
demonstrates to people that they are 50%
responsible for the condition of all of their
relationships. They are held accountable for
their part of the impact they are having on
others. However, they are also empowered
with a set of invaluable tools: the Influence
Styles and Tactics that make up the SIM.
They use the model to analyze the video
created during the first exercise, which helps
them to understand the model in a deeper
way. It also shows them firsthand the impact
they have on others, which again increases
their self-awareness. Watching oneself on
video is invaluable and is often mentioned as
one of the most powerful learning experiences
in the program.
Then we look at the results of the ISQ, which
develops a deeper understanding of the model
and the impact they are having in their own
day-to-day lives. Now, the participants have
feedback from peers in the workshop and
from their own lives – two sets of data that
enhance their self-awareness.
The next step in the PPI program is Tracks,
or experimentation. The track exercises
demonstrate the classic textbook way of using
each of the styles based on the research that has
been conducted. The participants experience
their blocks to performing the style(s) or
the ease with which they can do each of the
styles, and gain a deeper understanding of
each style. This can also get emotional if
the blocks are deep seated, or if the person
is dealing with stressful situations.
Following this session, they return to the
ISQ to look at feedback, as the deeper
understanding of the SIM enables additional
insights from the gathered data. They also
create goals around the styles to guide them
in the next section of the program.
During Skill practice, participants select
an exercise to do based on the goals they
previously set. These exercises enable them
to work through any blocks identified
during Tracks, and to further integrate the
learning into their own style. Once again,
this builds their self-awareness and the
sensitivity to their impact on other people.
The most important learning occurs in
the last part of the program, Application
Planning. In this session, participants
identify a Critical Influence Situation
(CIS) that is imminent and challenging,
and which they are willing to share with
others. They learn how to plan, choose
what styles should be used, and how
to manage the conversation. They get
coaching from peers and then practice.
Here, for many, is where a big breakthrough
occurs. Many participants have strong
emotions, but they realize as they are
practicing that the emotions they have are
oftentimes impeding their success. After
the program, the feedback we get from most
participants is that they had success, or ongoing
success, with their CIS. They reveal
that the situation was not as difficult as they
anticipated, and that the conversation with
their influence target was constructive and
Joe is an example of how the process worked
for one person. Prior to attending the
program he was doubtful that he would learn
anything new. He was in his 60’s and was
the VP of Engineering and Operations for a
midsized manufacturing company reporting directly into the President. He had seen and
done it all! They manufactured equipment
for other manufacturing companies and every
piece of equipment was customized. He had
very little advance notice from sales as to the
nature of the customization requirements.
The turnover time was slow as once he
had the order he now had to purchase the
necessary parts. In addition, Joe perceived
that the President considered the VP of Sales
his blue-eyed boy and Joe was the problem.
He would not buy into the fact that if Joe had
more advance notice, delivery times would
be dramatically shortened and customers
would be happier. He did not see a solution
to the problem so he decided to use this as
his CIS. He states:
“My Core Style Statement was to persuade
our VP of Sales to provide a 90-day rolling
forecast each month. I had constructed an
action plan that included Attracting and
Persuading; my strategy was to have a one-on-
one meeting to convince him to provide
the rolling forecast I needed to achieve the
Company’s Profit/Loss goals for next fiscal
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the
situation played out in a meeting with
two other VPs rather than a one-on-one
discussion. I followed my plan, however
he resisted (strongly), citing that he didn’t
have the time to generate the forecast I was
requesting. Because I wasn’t making any
headway, I chose to Disengage, planning to
meet again in the next few days.
I actually thought it was a lost cause until
the next morning when I received an e-mail
from him stating that he had thought about it
and decided to review the forecast on the 1st and 15th of each month, thus ensuring that a
rolling forecast could be generated on a regular
basis. I immediately agreed, even volunteering
to help with the reports so he could focus on
getting accurate information in the database.
So what did I learn from this Critical Influence
Situation? First, having an action plan in place
prior to the discussion was extremely helpful in
giving me a sense of preparedness and readiness
for unexpected twists and turns. Second, I
learned that the influence can continue even
after the formal discussions have ended.”
If we go back to the Mayer and Salovey
definition, on a practical level, what it boils
down to is being more aware of one’s emotions
and their impact on others, others’ emotions
and their impact on oneself, and the ability to
manage one’s reactions. As was demonstrated
above, PPI provides participants with the tools
to manage their own emotions, as well as the
emotions of others. Through increased
self-awareness and conscious choice they
are able to create new patterns of behavior
and that, by definition, is the root of
behavioral change. For the conflict averse,
the Influence Tactic of Disengaging is a tool
that empowers them to manage conflict in
a very productive way.
Finally, the feedback gathered from many
participants reveals that people who attend
PPI are better prepared, take more risk,
and are more confident and successful.
In essence, they are more emotionally
The Positive Use of Positional Power
Power is the potential you have to get things done or to make them happen. In your organization, your power—your potential—derives from many sources: expertise, experience, knowledge, reputation, position, perhaps sometimes your personality. Some of these power sources are personal, some are positional and many are a mix of the two. The Positive Power and Influence Program helps you identify how to use your influence skills to implement many aspects of your personal power.
However, you may also be facing influence situations where positional power issues are present and important. Handling these well requires some careful consideration of the issues involved.
Positional power is neither positive nor negative. Its impact depends on how you use it.
Whether you have positional power, or not, you can use personal influence skills to neutralize, remove, or set aside positional power issues. However, even skillful influencers sometimes find themselves in situations requiring extra effort to resolve positional problems.
These situations include:
- Influencing others who have more positional power than you do. Some people experience insecurity or blocks when dealing with their supervisors. In influence situations, these barriers can result in low impact or outright Avoiding. Even when you overcome your personal limitations, others may limit your effectiveness by “pulling rank” and using their positional power in negative ways.
- Influencing others who have less positional power than you do. Building constructive relationships with your direct reports is fundamental to motivating and developing them. Their productivity and high-quality performance depend on being fully committed to carrying out their jobs. If you rely too heavily on positional power your direct reports may misinterpret your influence attempts as arbitrary, seeing use of position where there is none. If these conditions exist, both sides will experience an energy loss and an erosion of the working relationship.
- Influencing others with equal positional power. Influencing peers can lead to boundary conflicts, authority questions, and resistance over territory or turf. People may get caught up in defending their position instead of focusing on the Influence Objective. Appeals to higher authority may result, diluting both parties’ power in the situation.
Positive influence requires that neither person lose total power or perceive they are losing it. Positive power and influence involves meeting personal objectives and building or maintaining productive relationships. Both influencer and target should be as powerful—or more so—at the end of the influence attempt as they were at the beginning.
Positive influence requires a power balance by definition. The primary cause of avoiding or resistance is the actual or anticipated loss of power.
- Influencers lose power if they fail to achieve their influence objectives.
- Influence targets lose power if the relationship is not maintained or strengthened.
- Both parties lose power if they fail to achieve the objective or do not maintain a positive relationship.
The total power each person has in an influence situation is the sum of their positional power and personal power.
For positive results to occur, the total power each person has must be balanced, even when their positional and personal power vary. Balancing total power can be accomplished by exercising either positional or personal power according to the situation.
Positive influence requires a power balance.
- When you have low positional power, you can maintain or expand your total power by exercising your personal power—by exerting personal influence.
- When you have high positional power, you can step away from your positional power in the situation by exerting personal influence and/or you can enhance the target's personal power.
- When you and the target have equal positional power, you can maintain or expand your positional power, work to balance both parties’ personal power, and/or agree that each party step away from their positions in any specific situation.
As an influencer, how might you maintain or expand positional power, especially when it has formal limits? How can personal influence skills help you use positional power more constructively? What role does planning play in creating a power balance?
To find out more about how you can increase your Positive Power and Influence skills read about the
Positive Power and Influence® Program.
The Difference Between "Problem Solving" and "Negotiation"
Problem solving between two or more parties occurs when the parties
encounter an obstacle to a jointly desired path and they jointly require
a solution that will alleviate the current predicament. As the parties
seek a mutually desired solution, they care-fully assess and agree on
the accuracy and veracity of available data. Agreement on the data is
essential because the available data points to the underlying cause
of the problem. Clear problem definitions promote identification of
relevant and appropriate solutions.
Sellers and buyers can problem solve if they are willing to suspend
their vested differences and let their common goal—doing business together—drive
their behavior. This stance allows both parties to view the gap between
their positions as merely an obstacle to overcome, and to explore a
range of alternative solutions for closing the gap. Some sellers would
call this “win-win negotiating,” but note that this kind of behavior
assumes that both buyer and seller see the situation from the same perspective.
Differences in available facts, or analysis of those facts, are capable
of being resolved or ignored.
Consider this example:
A representative for a manufacturer of home electronic entertainment
equipment is selling to a buyer who represents a chain of retail dealers.
The seller’s position on pricing is driven by the selling organization’s
national analysis of the competition and the consumer market. However,
the buyer’s pricing position has been determined by detailed analysis
of local competition and consumer trends. The two databases differ.
As part of their discussion, the seller and buyer share their divergent
analyses of the market, and they recognize the legitimacy of both data
The seller is persuaded that the local market data are more compelling
indices for business with this buyer, and is able to make some pricing
adjustments based on the data.
The buyer is persuaded that national trends will quickly overwhelm
local variations, and is able to support adjusting to the seller’s pricing
For both parties, this is an ideal result. They end up seeing the situation
the same way, no issues are disputed, and they agree on which alternative
resolves the problem of how to do business together. Yet conflict between
the selling role and the buying role is more the rule than the exception—and
most sellers expect it. An experienced seller knows that at some point
in the selling cycle some conflicts probably will arise. These conflicts
typically concern price, terms, and conditions of the sale, but they
may also involve issues like product specification, research and development
support, delivery methods, storage capability, and so on.
To effectively deal with conflict and resolve issues in dispute, a
seller should know the process of negotiation and be able to implement
a positive strategic approach to conflict resolution. The seller must
be able to identify those situations where conflicting interests outweigh
common interests, where problem solving is difficult or impossible,
and where a positive negotiation strategy is the best option for a mutually
Negotiation occurs when at least two parties who begin with vested
conflicting differences arrive (if successful) at a point of agreement
that bridges the differences to the satisfaction of both. In a negotiation,
agreement is fostered by the use of alternative currencies of exchange.
In selling situations, conflict is natural and sometimes inevitable.
One type of conflict arises when two or more parties view the same situation
and arrive at results which are different and to some extent mutually
exclusive. Here are some examples:
A seller has a list-price or published price for a product or service.
The buyer wants to buy the same product or service for a price that
is eighty percent of the seller’s published price. A price conflict
A seller wants to deliver a product using standard delivery methods,
but the buyer wants accelerated delivery. A delivery methods conflict
A seller offers standard financial terms, but the buyer wants extended
time to pay. A payment or terms conflict exists.
In all of these situations, the buyer and the seller both may be looking
at the same information and data but have arrived at quite different
approaches, based on their own interests and needs. One or all of these
conflicting interests may exist within one selling opportunity, and
they must be successfully resolved before the sale is consummated.
A second type of conflict occurs when data available to one party is
contested or considered irrelevant by the other party. Differences in
facts and evidence may be impossible to resolve or ignore. The seller,
buyer, or both may be strongly committed to the data or the logic that
underlies their positions—they are “vested”! In these cases, problem
solving as a process for reaching agreement breaks down. There is no
agreement on the facts, and so there is no agreement on the problem
itself. If buyers and sellers do not perceive the same problem, they
are unlikely to agree on appropriate alternatives. Consider again our
electronics products example:
The seller uses national market trend data to support the selling organization’s
pricing position. (Underlying this approach is the selling organization’s
strong belief that letting local differences drive market price would
destroy the market for their high-end products.) The buyer objects,
arguing that local conditions are more compelling. (The dealership is
under extreme competitive pressure from a local discounter who is taking
advantage of a weak economy.) The seller, believing that a careful review
of the evidence will persuade the buyer, responds to the buyer’s position
with counter arguments about the local situation. The buyer, however,
discounts the seller’s analysis of local conditions as outdated and
based on an inappropriate model for the region. The seller, still pursuing
a problem-solving approach, offers additional counter evidence, and
the buyer begins to feel abused and upset.
Both parties are becoming frustrated, and the seller is now confused.
Why is the willingness to problem solve being met with such resistance?
What is the seller’s next step?
In this example, the seller should abandon problem solving as a process
for trying to get the buyer to agree on a common problem with mutually
accepted causes. The seller must recognize and acknowledge that his
or her underlying needs are different from the buyer’s needs. Now, the
rationale for their stated positions (their analyses may both be correct—or
incorrect!) becomes irrelevant, and debate or argument about the parties’
views of the situation must cease. Instead, the seller must begin to
identify resources—alternative currencies of exchange—that the parties
might exchange that would help to bridge the gap on price. Sometimes
skilled buyers may initiate this activity, but usually do not. It is
up to the seller to switch to a negotiating strategy.
Negotiation may take additional time and energy. This investment will
pay off in situations where the parties involved are invested in their
particular positions. The negotiation will proceed when both parties
believe that an agreement can be reached even though they may not share
much in common. Only when sellers and buyers acknowledge conflicting
vested interests can they begin to look for resources—currencies—that
will help to close the gap between the different positions, if those
currencies are placed on the table.
To find out more about these concepts and their application in our Negotiation Strategy and Tactics and Positive Negotiation Program.
Roi of Not Training
Training in the New (read: current) Cost Cutting Era Or, the ROI of
It is very interesting to me that there are a plethora of articles
and huge amounts of energy extended on measuring the ROI of training.
During economic slowdowns it is beneficial to know what to cut.
However, one thing I want to know is “Has anyone ever conducted a study
that actually measures the cost of unproductive work relationships,
unresolved conflict or the inability to influence or negotiate effectively?”
If they have, I have been unable to find it. After all, how do you measure
the costs of:
Two peers avoiding talking to each other for six months?
A manager who never conducts productive performance reviews?
Top performers who bully internal support staff?
Direct reports who consistently resist any change the company makes?
Workers who have been made scapegoats and become depressed?
People afraid of what the future holds?
Technical experts who prefer computers to people?
Project Managers who think organizational politics should just be ignored?
Answering the same question ten times? One hundred times?
Resolving the same error ten times? One hundred times?
I think you get the point. We don’t quantify many of these things because
it is just too hard to measure the cost of negative behaviors. Intuitively,
we know it is costing us money. We never know how much. It just costs
money so we attempt to train people to be behaviorally correct in the
hopes of increasing productivity.
The flip side of this is that “no one has come up with a generally
accepted definition of productivity in any knowledge profession, let
alone across these professions.” A majority of the work currently done
in the USA is just that – knowledge work.
Why are we trying to measure the ROI of training when we can’t measure
productivity or the lack thereof?
The reason is because we have to try to measure productivity. We approximate
it all. We need to have some way to justify the existence of training.
Consider a small portion of the results of a change project conducted
by Lockheed Martin with the design and assistance of VitalSmarts. They
found significant correlations between improvement in specific behavior
items and three performance metrics – Efficiency, Productivity and Quality.
(Efficiency is a measure of time per unit, standardized by size of unit.
Productivity reflects the percent of possible work actually accomplished.
Quality is measured by amount of rework required, standardized by size
of unit). For example, they found that when supervisors were slow in
responding to employee needs and employees spoke in a way that got results
(the improved behavioral item), there was a 53% correlation with an
improvement in efficiency, 52% correlation with an improvement in productivity
and a 49% correlation with an improvement in quality.
This is the closest I have found to a specific correlation between
a soft behavior and an improvement in productivity or results! Perhaps
I need to keep looking… But this was manufacturing – as I said we do
measure what is measurable.
While thinking about how to make people more productive in the workplace
(again I am assuming this is the main reason we train people) think
about this statement by Cialdini: “Few of us would be surprised to learn
that, as a rule, we most prefer to say yes to the requests of people
we know and like. “
Okay, we just need to train everyone to be likable! While I am not
a supporter of Cialdrini’s recommendations about how to influence people
his statement is compelling. Irwin Rubin states:
“While at M.I.T., I was fortunate to have had Douglas McGregor, the
father of the Theory X versus Theory Y of human motivation, as a colleague.
During one of the skill sessions Doug held periodically with younger
faculty members, he talked of a double bind he felt in his own professional
career. In order to get the attention of the CEO's with whom he consulted,
in order to "motivate them" to treat their people well, he would cite
the many research studies he and others had conducted linking these
efforts to reduced turnover, increased morale, and-under certain circumstances-
In other words, he [and virtually everyone else like him] relied on
hard logic and extrinsic linkages to make his point: treat your people
well and your organization will do well "So what's the point?" you wonder.
The problem, as he admitted with considerable embarrassment and hesitancy,
was that—in his heart--he believed that the real reason to treat people
well was intrinsic.
In other words, the reason why you should empower your people by treating
them with respect and trust [all the "soft stuff" our theories remind
us about] is because they are human beings. And that is how human beings
deserve to be treated. For their intrinsic, not extrinsic worth. Period.
As a result of doing so, and if you had faith-an unwavering belief that
you were doing the right thing-more often than not, you [the organization]
will be rewarded. When the going gets tough, people who are "unconditionally
cared for" in this way will put out the extra effort to care in return.”
So perhaps that is why we have training programs. So we can teach everyone
to treat each other well and then productivity will be high.
Going back to Cialdini … people like to do things for people they like.
It is true, we pave they way, do back flips, put in extra time, smooth
the path, make connections and introductions … in short, we help. Can
you imagine if we treated every single person that we worked with in
this manner? Can you imagine the efficiency, quality and productivity
that would result from everyone treating everyone else in this way?
Emotional intelligence has become very popular because the only way
to get people to treat each other well thereby increasing productivity,
would be to get everyone to like everyone else. So get your inner child
off your sleeve, get beyond your dysfunctional family of origin, and
find a way to like everyone in your dysfunctional organization. Simple
Consider what Meg Wheatley has to say about those difficult and non-productive
types of relationships:
“And we need to be able to talk with those we have named “enemy.” Fear
of each other also keeps us apart. Most of us have lists of people we
fear. We can’t imagine talking with them, and if we did, we know it
would create more anger. We can’t imagine what we would learn from them,
or what might become possible if we spoke to those we most fear.
I hope we can reclaim conversation as our route back to each other,
and as the path forward to a hopeful future. It only requires imagination
and courage and faith. These are qualities possessed by everyone. Now
is the time to exercise them to the fullest.”
The most elegant process I have seen for managing the emotional self
is laid out in the book Crucial Conversations. According to the authors,
one of the keys to having crucial conversations is our ability to manage
our own stories. In their description, we observe something happening
or have a set of facts and then we fill in the blanks with our own story.
We take action based on our interpretation of the facts or our story
often with negative consequences. So the real message is to manage your
assumptions and the stories you make up before you have a crucial conversation.
Okay. So where are we? Training and organizational development exists
because we know that happy, satisfied, rewarded people are more likely
to have emotional intelligence and they go above and beyond the call
of duty, which equals higher productivity.
In the mid 1970’s, David Berlew and Roger Harrison created a training
program called Positive Power & Influence in response to the increase
in matrixed organizations. People needed to get work done (read: productivity)
through the use of their personal power as they may not have any positional
power. It was one of the first programs to incorporate videotaped feedback
in the training process. They believed the product would have a shelf
life of ten years. It is still going strong today and has been translated
into 15 languages and has been delivered to hundreds and thousands of
Why? The reason is because the program works on the behavioral level
with people. It gives them tools to have those crucial conversations
with others, which ... you have got it – increases productivity.
There is one more side to the puzzle though. If people can manage themselves
emotionally, if they can apply effective influence skills then they
are two thirds of the way to success. Every psychological model involves
looking at self, others and also at the context of the situation. People
need to be Organizationally “Street Smart” as well…. understand how
to navigate the organizations within which they work.
There are two elements to being Organizationally “Street Smart”. One
element involves knowing the structure, how decisions are made, how
to get things done, unspoken rules, etc. The other element is the ability
to have and use the power of politics. Positive politics. Many in this
country see Positive Politics as an oxymoron but it does go back to
the stories we tell ourselves, and treating others well.
In order for people to be successful, to be happy and committed they
need to be emotionally intelligent so they know how to approach having
important conversations. They need the influence skills to manage the
face-to-face portion of the conversation. They also need Organizational
“Street Smarts” to help them manage the context of the conversation.
Very few of these things can be measured for their impact on the job.
I cannot imagine setting up that research project not to mention the
So why do we train people? In summary, training people to be behaviorally
effective is important for reasons we can’t accurately measure but intuitively
know – it increases productivity. We need to know that we are training
the right people to build competence in the right skills. We need to
know that what we are training people to do is in line with our business
objectives. We need to have hardcore justification that we are not simply
throwing dollars at the “flavor-of-the-month” training intervention.
Today, we just cannot afford to waste money. It is important to make
sure that the training is supporting the business.
The ROI of not training people is immeasurable. Right now we need to
be investing in the people we have decided to keep. These last few years
have been hard. Most organizations have cut costs, restructured, developed
new products, and held their customers close. Diligence is key but an
over-reliance on the ROI of training could end up costing us more.
There are a lot of ways that money is drained from the organization.
Some ways are easy to spot. The quality movement helped us to increase
productivity. Now we need to be able to talk to each other with dignity
and respect while paying careful attention to what the other is saying
as a way to increase productivity.
The productivity impact of every person having a constructive conversation
with one person with whom he/she has a difficult relationship could
erase the national debt in one year.
Prove me wrong!
Sherri Malouf, President of SMS, Inc., has been a consultant, coach
and entrepreneur for almost two decades. She brings a light touch, a
sense of humor, and a great deal of business experience to her work
with clients helping them to look at situations from a different vantage
Using Influence to Maintain or Build Relationships
Positive power and influence skills can help you meet personal objectives
and maintain or build positive working relationships-simultaneously.
Your challenge as an influencer is to pursue your objectives while fostering
the stability and growth of your working relationships. High-impact
influence skills, Style flexibility, and disciplined planning will help
you achieve this balance between objectives and relationships in most
Achieving a balance between objectives and relationships may be difficult
when you and the target have strong personal differences. Balancing
task objectives with relationships is difficult enough when you and
another person have competing objectives-a common occurrence. Maintaining
this balance can be even more delicate when you and the other person
have a history of personality clashes or deep interpersonal conflicts.
Some working relationships may be so ruptured and disagreeable that
no amount of influence can heal them.
Relationship problems may make you reluctant to use some influence
styles. For example, if you frequently disagree with the target's logic,
you may be reluctant to use persuading. You do not want to hear the
target's proposals and reasons because you typically find fault with
the underlying facts or data. You may not want to use asserting with
a person you view as needy or controlling. A needy person may insist
on more incentives than you can give and a controlling person may refuse
to agree to your expectations under any circumstances. If you distrust
the target, you may avoid listening or making yourself vulnerable for
fear of losing control of the situation or being taken advantage of.
Relationship problems may make you reluctant to engage in any influence
attempt with the target. You and the target may lack sufficient positive
motive for a successful outcome to occur. The potential costs of trying
to influence the target may outweigh the potential benefits. You may
feel so exploited by the target that taking steps to improve the relationship
may not seem worth the risk. You may have difficulty even imagining
what an effective influence approach might be. On the other hand, the
influence target may have trouble working with you! Your awareness of
this makes you unwilling to awaken his or her anger.
Relationship problems can disrupt the climate for positive influence.
If the relationship seems irreparable, you may find yourself forcing.
If the target's resistance is so strong that you do not wish to challenge
it, you may find yourself avoiding. Forcing or Avoiding can occur whether
you are the victim of another person's grievance, the perpetrator of
the problem, or a third party to a disagreement between others that
affects your work.
Relationship problems make it hard to determine a clear influence objective.
Such problems make it difficult to see beyond the incompatibility issue.
Often, the relationship must improve before you and the other person
can take any concrete next steps. Mutual respect and acceptance is necessary
to ensure genuine agreements and commitments.
The hardest part of dealing with a relationship problem can be getting
the other person's commitment to resolve it. The person may have no
interest in getting along with you and may even enjoy or derive power
from causing you pain. Fortunately, you are not powerless in this situation.
You can use positive power and influence to engage the person's interest
in getting on board with you to solve the interpersonal problem. You
may have no choice, if your job requires you to interact with this person!
Project assignments, business priorities, or other situational factors
may drive you and the target together despite your best efforts to stay
away from each other. By focusing on this joint work-the task- you will
increase your chances of improving the relationship.
A procedure for setting Influence Objectives by thinking through
task and relationship problems:
- Try to picture an ideal working relationship with the target. What would it look like if you and the target could align your goals,
roles, and procedures? What would your boundaries be for such a relationship?
Be honest with yourself. You may not want anything more than a positive
functional relationship with a minimum of contact and just enough
civility. On the other hand, you may wish for a thoroughly friendly
and thriving collaboration with the target. While it is hard to predict
what the exact outcome will be, it is useful to think about the best
possible scenario for the future of the relationship.
- Define the overall task or mission. Resist the impulse to
address the interpersonal issue first. Confine the definition
of task to external goals and results rather than internal, personal
ones. Focus on the job you have to do together and how best to do
it. Concentrate on the organizational or project-related results you
wish to achieve at the end of your joint effort. These results should
relate to the business or work at hand and should not be political,
social, or emotional. Do not focus on what you feel about the other
person or what you think are his or her problems. Having a good relationship
at the end of influence attempt but is independent of completing the
- Translate the task into goal statements. Divide
the task into incremental parts. Write out all your goals-and the
goals you think the target may have. Be inclusive. Do not worry about
aligning your goals at this point. If some goals conflict, note them
and move on. This will require personal discipline and empathy-do
not mentally argue with your target. Remember, you are not yet committing
yourself to any form of action. This is only a planning step!
- Align both sets of goals. Identify specific goals you and
the target might agree on. Elaborate on these goals in sufficient
detail so you can discuss them with the target at length. This material
may be useful in resolving impasses caused by other conflicting goals.
If some goals are seriously out of sync, consider setting them aside
or gaining clarity on them from those who assigned them to you in
the first place. Remember, you and the target cannot go further until
you have resolved the differences between your goals.
- Clarify or negotiate roles. When your goals-both common
and conflicting- are as clear as possible, focus on roles. Consider past interactions. Is there a history of how you and the
target have divided tasks? If so, has the division of labor been satisfactory
to you? What would you like your role to be this time? How will the
target want to define roles? Will the target's desired role conflict
with yours? If so, what are you willing to do to get the role you
want? Determine what the potential points of conflict might be.
- Assess the effectiveness of current procedures. Procedural problems are often the first symptom of a breakdown in
interpersonal relationships. Your work in defining goals and roles
will help you to develop procedures that will support a positive working
relationship. Think about what you and the target may want the procedures
to be. You may have to wait to develop the specifics until after you
and the target have fully aligned your goals and roles. General procedural
wishes and needs may be as far as you can go at this point.
- Review interpersonal issues. When you have finished
defining goals, roles, and procedures, consider the interpersonal
issue itself. By this time you may already have changed your view
of the relationship problem. You may have discovered that a system
problem-defects in goals, roles, or procedures- is the real cause
of the behavioral problem. Write down your thoughts on this.
If the relationship problem persists even after you and the target
have reached agreement on goals, roles, and procedures, then you may
want to address the interpersonal issue directly. You might let the
target know how his or her behavior is disrupting your work or the work
of the group. This type of discussion is often enough to cause the target
to stop the behavior immediately. However, make sure to address goals,
roles, and procedures first before addressing the interpersonal issue,
in case the real problem is with the system, not the person!
To find out more about how you can increase your Positive Power and
Influence skills read about the Positive Power and Influence® Program
Using Influence to Build a Corporate Culture of Trust and Open Communication
According to recent research conducted by the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM), one of the key findings about thechallenges facing HR over the next ten years is as follows:
“More than one-half of HR professionals think
that retaining and rewarding the best employees
(59%) and developing the next generation of
corporate leaders (52%) will be the greatest
challenges. About one-third predict the
challenges will be creating a corporate culture that
attracts the best employees to the organization
(36%), remaining competitive in the talent
marketplace (34%) and finding employees with
the increasingly specialized skills the organization
When asked about attracting, retaining, and
rewarding the best employees, the most effective
tactic cited was the maintenance of a culture
of trust, open communication and fairness.
This is not very surprising given some recent
accounts of leaders who have “misbehaved”
resulting in organization-wide mistrust and
a “closed door” culture.
It’s not hard to imagine
how this constricts creativity
and impedes enthusiastic
commitment to corporate
vision, mission, and values.
Building a culture that fosters
the core values of trust and
effective communication is
paramount if you want to keep your best people and develop exceptional
leaders. There are many ways this can be
accomplished. One of the most powerful of these
is to ingrain the use of positive influence and
personal power into the culture.
As we already know, effective communication,
marked by honesty and respect, leads to elevated
levels of trust. So the idea is to get everyone
openly communicating across the organization,
at every level, on a global scale. Influence is a
form of communication. We all influence on a
daily basis personally and most certainly at work.
Wherever you have objectives to meet you have
opportunities, if not mandates, to influence
those around you. Any communication that has
an intended outcome is considered an attempt
to influence. In business, task focus and the
achievement of outcomes with and through others
is a continuous activity. Influence is pervasive,
whether we are conscious of it or not and regardless
of the label applied to it.
Excellent influencers achieve their objectives
while maintaining and nurturing important
relationships. That sounds
simple, but in practice it can
be extremely challenging.
Many people achieve
their influence objectives
only at the expense of
Others habitually avoid
situations, sacrificing their
Different individuals present different influence
situations. This is also true for the same individual
at different times depending on the content and
context of the work. As we move from one work
or personal situation to another our influence
objectives change, and the way we influence to
reach those objectives should change as well.
Influence is a focused application of behavioral
skills that we employ in order to achieve a desired
outcome. These skills are within our control. We
are capable of making strategic decisions about
how we wish to behave, and we are capable of
choosing to alter our actions - IF we have adequate
array of behavioral alternatives – an influence
“Given the nature of my team’s responsibility,
which is to act as an internal consultant tasked
to improving our selling capabilities around the
world, it is critical to customize our influencing
style to each and every one of our customers.
Customizing our approach to each person or
region in the world significantly improved our
ability to influence positive change.”
Vice President, Global Customer Capabilities,
In addition to increasing the repertoire of
influence behaviors, another important aspect of
influencing is the use of personal power. While
positional power is derived externally and limited
by organizational structure, personal power is an
internal resource consisting of our knowledge,
skills and abilities in face-to-face interactions
which can be used at any organizational level
regardless of our positional power. Some examples
of personal power include:
- reputation for being reliable and influential
- performance capability (results orientation)
- expertise in a specific and valued area
- flexibility in the use of the influencing styles
At SMS we talk about power as being the
available personal energy that one has to act in
any situation, and influence as the application of
that energy. Therefore influence is our personal
power in action. It is our energy in use, energy
that is visible and can be felt by others. Influence
is behavioral. We
can assess and
measure it using
mastery of the
Model, we can
control and focus
energy for the
The SIM is straightforward, and applicable in
complex situations. It is based on Influence
Energy, Styles and Behaviors. In this model, the
aspects of Influence Energy are defined as Push,
Pull, or Moving Away. As the graphic shows, the
Styles associated with Push Energy are Persuading
and Asserting and the Styles associated with Pull
Energy are Bridging and Attracting. Each Style
then has its own associated behaviors. Lastly,
Moving Away Energy is a tactic that helps you
manage unproductive conversations.
The reason for these unproductive conversations
is that people have their own set of beliefs about
how communication should occur. What
they sometimes don’t realize is that they send
unintended messages. When training people on
this model, a set of taped exercises is employed
through which people obtain a feedback about their body language, choice of
words, and tone of voice. So
for example, if I am using Push
Energy and the Influence Style
of Persuading, I need to use
Push-Persuading words, tone of
voice and body language. When
crafting the communication in
this way, the resulting message
is crystal clear and much more
likely to convey what you intend.
Each one of the styles has a set
of conditions which dictate its
use. For example, Persuading is
about logic and the use of data.
When using the Persuading
Style, emotion is inappropriate
for this particular influence situation. Many
people object and want to know why they can’t
be passionate! Passion, when combined with
Push Energy, is often interpreted as anger, which
again, is an unintended, and usually
What our research and experience
show is that most people rely on
very few behaviors in their day-today
communications. Our training
provides a 360-degree feedback
component and when viewing the
results, a good number are shocked
to find that they deal with every
situation in the same exact way.
They are asked to consider both
a productive and less productive
relationship in assessing their influence styles.
When it is revealed that they are dealing in both
instances in the same manner, they experience
an epiphany. Every influence attempt requires
an objective and an influence plan specific to
that influence situation. That’s why it’s called
SMS is a training
by a set of core
our work over
- Organizational effectiveness begins with
- Educated analysis of a situation enables
- Different situations require different
- Personal effectiveness is enhanced by
- Effective interpersonal skills can be learned.
Ultimately, personal skill levels determine the
level of effectiveness in any attempt to influence.
Success depends on the ability to personally
and positively influence others – to achieve
one’s personal objectives while building, or at
least maintaining, productive relationships. It’s
a delicate balancing act that is well-worth the
undertaking to master.
The Influence of Influence Training
Introducing Ruud van Ommeren and Sherri Malouf.
Ruud van Ommeren has been active as a consultant and
trainer since 1970. He has been a director of Bureau Zuidema for over
25 years and is currently a member of the Supervisory Board of Bureau
Sherri Malouf is the CEO of Situation Management Systems
in the United States. She has also been active in the field of HRD for
over 25 years. Both Ruud and Sherri are driving forces behind the “Positive
Power and Influence” training program.
1. The influence program has weathered the stormy procession of hypes
in the HRD/HRM field, both in Europe and in the United States. What
were these hypes?
Ruud: Let us have a look at all these hypes. After
the Second World War something new came onto the market every two years
or so. After a while this process began to accelerate, and now several
theories come into fashion at the same time almost every year. I will
give you an overview of these theories. (PPTs 1 and 2)
2. Why has the influence program managed to survive the emergence
and decline of all these hypes? Can you both explain this?
Ruud: The reasons why the Positive Power and Influence
program has resisted the flow of all these hypes are, first of all,
that it is not a management approach or management theory as such with
an immediately apparent profit motive. Secondly, the program does not
depend on economic turbulence. Influence skills can be used in favorable
economic times as well as in times of recession. Thirdly, the program
is based on scientific research and practical evidence. Fourthly, the
influence model supports many of the management approaches I have already
shown you. This means that you need influence skills to establish more
efficient production processes and better quality and to support more
flexible and innovative strategies. Effective influence styles will
even support the introduction of more sustainable enterprise.
Sherri: I invited Roger Harrison several years ago
to speak with a group of trainers I was working with and he spoke at
length about the development of the PPI Program. One thing that stands
out in my mind is how he talked about people who attended T-Groups.
He said they were softer people, people who already wanted intimacy.
So he and David Berlew wanted to develop a program for the hard people
– the tough people. Roger said that PPI was designed to help the soft
people toughen up and the tough people to soften up and both types of
people could work simultaneously in the program. This design has made
the program invaluable to organizations over the years. In addition,
PPI complimented other types of training being conducted. It supported
and helped people implement other Leadership, Team or Management Programs.
Plus, the design of PPI is such that people could make immediate changes,
have greater success, take more risk and be better prepared. PPI worked
then and it works now for a broad range of people.
3. Ruud, you mention scientific underpinning as one of the reasons
why the program has survived the fads. Can you explain this?
Ruud: I can give you some examples of scientific research
in this field. The influence model itself was developed in a long-term
research project by two American psychologists, Roger Harrison and David
Berlew. In this study, they discovered the difference between effective
leadership behavior and non-effective leadership behavior. At Zuidema
some years ago, we conducted a statistical research project on the validity
and reliability of the questionnaires that participants in the influence
program use to detect their dominant influence behavior. This research
project was conducted in cooperation with the universities of Amsterdam
and Nijmegen. Some minor changes had to be made to make this inventory
perfectly reliable and valid. (PPTs 3,4,5 and 6).
Sherri: In 1990, Sheri Feinzig in the Psychology Department
at SUNY also researched the reliability and found even stronger results
than the BZ study as the changes had been implemented. This research
was conducted on the use of the influence model in negotiation. It was
also very interesting to learn how different cultures use the influence
skills within their own culture. It proved that all influence styles
are needed in order to achieve win-win results in any situation and
in any culture.
4. Sherri, I would like to ask you a question relating to the cultural
aspect. I understand that the program has been introduced in more than
25 countries around the world, and therefore in different cultures,
and is even available in Japanese, Chinese, Korean and Russian. Is that
not rather unusual for a program of American origin? In other words,
how universal is the program?
Sherri: Indeed, as you can see, the influence program
has been introduced in most parts of the world, covering all major languages
and all continents. (PPT 7). Of course, we still conduct research on
the usefulness of the model in different cultures, and where necessary,
we introduce some minor modifications. For example, in French to literally
translate “I want“ would be considered rude, so language changes need
to be made. Interestingly, many people in the world struggle with being
Assertive. People are good at being either aggressive or submissive
but the Assertive Style tends to be challenging for many.
5. Sherri, besides the cultural differences, there seem to be even
greater differences between the generations. Younger generations sometimes
appear to speak an entirely different language. Can the influence program
bridge the generation gap too?
Sherri: That is a very interesting question, which
Ruud and I discussed. The focus of the influence model is on how to
get things done, of course. But it also relies on building solid working
and personal relationships. While many things may change, we still need
each other no matter what generation we belong to. If you look at (PPT
8), for example, how the different generations view the Builders believe
in honor and respect, Boomers challenge authority, Gen X ignores authority
and Gen Y believes that leaders should respect you and you choose your
boss. Understanding these differences improves an individual’s ability
to influence cross-generationally. Another example is the different
messages that motivate the generations. For example,(PPT 9) the Builders
want to know their experience is respected and valued, the Boomers want
to know they are worthy, Gen X want to hear that there are not a lot
of rules, and Gen Y want to know they can be heroes. Again, understanding
what motivates people improves your ability to influence that person.
Influence is not about you, it is about what you know about the other
person, how genuine you are and the quality of the relationships you
build across all types of barriers, not just generational differences.
And the cause that many are behind today is sustainability – looking
for a greater purpose than making money.
6. Will the influence program continue to be effective in the future?
Ruud: Even in this digital world, we need influence
skills in real-life, person-to-person contacts, which are becoming scarcer.
As long as interpersonal communication is not replaced by non-emotional
robots, we need the music of influencing people and being influenced
by others. This is not just a cheap trick to teach people how to manipulate
others. The use of appropriate influence styles fundamentally improves
communication between people. If we look at the rivalry between the
candidates for the American presidency, we see that influence styles
are sometimes more important than content. People love that music!
Sherri: Today, people are continually asked to do
more with less. Achieve greater goals, but with fewer people, lower
budgets, and less support. The ability to influence others and build
solid working relationships has become even more critical. It is tough
to get things done alone.
7. Sherri and Ruud, many years ago sensitivity was the order of the
day, after which the emphasis was placed on assertiveness. Where does
the emphasis now lie in your opinion, and what does this mean with regard
to influence behavior?
Sherri: In the United States, Emotional Intelligence
has gained a foothold. The ability to handle your own reactions and
the strong emotions of others is seen as a necessity. Many studies have
been conducted demonstrating the comparative success of people with
a high EQ. Here (PPT 10) are a few examples of these studies. So you
can see that people’s ability to handle their own and other people’s
strong emotions is seen as a strength from a leadership standpoint.
Just a quick question for the audience: How many of you do an absolutely
fantastic job of influencing when you are incredibly angry? No one?
Of course not! Our ability to influence effectively is impacted by our
emotional strength and stability.
Ruud: If we go back to the early days of personal
development in corporate education, there was a considerable discrepancy
between personal goals and organizational goals. Other disciplines were
also involved. The personal part was the field of the psychologists,
and the business development was improved by other disciplines. That
was why sensitivity training and Tavistock and T-group training were
introduced. Of course, some people benefited from these approaches,
but sometimes these training models damaged people and there was a huge
gap between what people learned and the reality of business life. Now,
we just try to align organizational and personal goals better than in
the past. In the influence training, for example, we have exercises
that help people to bridge the gap between personal goals and organizational
8. Ruud, about the development in the business world over the years
that you mentioned earlier, from efficiency via quality, to flexibility
and innovation, and to sustainable enterprise: does this development
also call for a change in management behavior?
Ruud: Yes, in the growth process of organizations
we see a development in effective management behavior, and there is
even a connection between macroeconomic developments and individual
management behavior. It takes a long time to explain this theory, but
I know that Marcia Biesheuvel has developed a very elegant model on
a situational leadership framework that gives a very clear and comprehensible
insight into the relation between macroeconomic developments and individual
management behavior. I am very eager to see an article on this subject
from her hand.
9. A question for both of you. Within the HRM/HRD field nowadays,
people sometimes opt for a psychoanalytical or even spiritually based
approach. What do you think about this?
Ruud: Sometimes, it is very frustrating to hear that
organizations work with theories and models for which there is no scientific
or practical evidence or that are based on outdated, hundred-year-old
theories such as the Myers-Briggs type indicator based on Jung, when
there are equivalents that are scientifically proven and more effective
and efficient in their application. Can you imagine an organization
still using logistic and financial systems that date back a hundred
years? In my opinion, the main reason is that many HRD professionals
have been educated in a learning climate inspired by psychological unproven
theories, and spiritual and holistic approaches and the books of very
popular writers such as Tolle, Lipton, Wilber, Chopra Almaas and other
spiritual gurus. Since the increase of popularity of Bhagwan’s theories
amongst trainers, I have been allergic to this form of modern priesthood,
but I know that Sherri may have a different opinion on this subject.
Sherri: In the US, people in their personal lives
have always searched for the next guru, the next answer, the next phenomena
– the US was created for religious freedom! What seems to be gaining
momentum organizationally is the idea of sustainability and a reward
that is beyond a financial gain. David Burnham of Burnham Rosen Associates
has been continuing with McClelland’s research and has a great deal
of data that supports the shift from Stage 3 power to Stage 4 power
motivation. Looking at( PPT 11), here’s what the different Stages of
power motivation look like by Abigail Stewart. The grid is set up based
on the source of power and the target of power. So, if the source of
power is others and target of power is self, then that is Stage 1 or
dependent power. If the source and target of power is self, then that
is Stage 2 or independent power. If the source of power is self and
the target of power is others, then that is Stage 3 or imperial or assertive
power, which is split between personal and institutional. And finally,
if the source and target of power is others, then that is Stage 4 or
interactive power. For many years, the typical profile of a manager
was Stage 3 institutional power. There has been a shift to Stage 4 and
again, the issue of sustainability comes up. Looking in detail at the
BRA study (PPTs 12, 13 and 14) you can see the basis of the study, 180
leaders, 4 different methods of research, 8 countries and industries,
and eighteen companies. When analyzing performance and Stage of Power,
over 65% of the leaders who had superior performance were Stage 4 power
motivation or interactive power, 70% of average performers were Stage
3 institutional power. If you then look at the impact on the culture
of the organization (PPT 15) and tie motives in with employee morale,
defined as responsibility, team spirit, organizational clarity and rewards
(non-financial), where there was a Power Stage 4 leader, responsibility,
team spirit, and rewards were significantly higher while, interestingly,
organizational clarity is the same. So the message is that when leaders
are driven by something beyond their own personal gain, the positive
impact can be seen in performance and in the organization’s culture.
10. Last question. At the moment we see a strong interest in the relationship
between brain research and learning. Do you think this has any relevance
to influence behavior?
Ruud: Brain research is experiencing an explosive
development and is very promising in relation to new ideas about how
people learn. However, in my opinion, it is too early to say anything
significant regarding influence behavior. We have to be careful that
brain-based learning does not become the latest hype. At Zuidema, we
are very interested in the developments in brain research, especially
in the theory that gives evidence to the influence of the neurotransmitter
system on the differences in personal preference for certain behavioral
styles, this with regard to the use of the well-known Structogram theory.
Sherri: The more we understand about ourselves and
others, the better we are able to manage ourselves and influence others.
What tools like the brain model do for people is to increase understanding
about why someone is thinking or feeling in a different or unexpected
way. The more we can build tolerance for each other’s quirks, accept
our differences as strengths, take the time to actually listen carefully
to each other, the stronger we can build our relationships, and then
it becomes easier to influence each other. People quite naturally like
to work with and do things for people they like, which is why I flew
across the ocean to be here today!
To find out more about how you can increase your Positive Power and
Influence skills read about the Positive Power and Influence® Program.